


and if you just hold on to these memories (i’ll never let go)

by riptidex



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: All of the Blossoms are dead except Cheryl, Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, F/F, Fluff, Gangs, Homosexuality, Hurt/Comfort, Plot, Romance, Sci-Fi, Slow Burn, Stargazing, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug, Violence, actually idk if this counts as a slow burn, don’t worry tho she has a good reason for doing this, you’re probably not gonna like toni in the beginning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-03-06 14:19:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18852793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riptidex/pseuds/riptidex
Summary: If she had to guess, she wouldn’t have assumed it would’ve ended like this.She was in love -theywere in love, and suddenly,shejust-The least she could’ve gotten was an explanation.What had she done wrong?ORCheryl makes the mistake of falling in love with Toni Topaz - a girl who’s torn between two different time periods.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT: this fanfic is completely inspired by that of an actual work of fiction on a completely different site, like, the main storyline and a tad bit of the dialogue. it’s a fabulous story, and luckily the author gave me permission to write a choni version of it - 10/10 would definitely recommend reading (endless you don’t want spoilers for this fic). 
> 
> https://quotev.com/story/10364089
> 
> anyway, with the five month hiatus officially starting today, i figured why not post the first chapter of my first choni fic? comments are always appreciated!

 

“Why should I be afraid to die? I belong to _you_ . If I go first, I’ll wait for _you_ there, on the other side of the dark waters. Be with me _now_.”

 

-The Thin Red Line

 

**I**

 

-

 

The gleaming glow of the sky fades into the twilight as the sun sets behind the hills, and with it, a bout of harsh weather. What begins as a light drizzle, turns into a light rain, followed by pellets of water, and eventually, a torrential downpour ascends upon Cheryl Blossom and Elizabeth Cooper.

 

The wind picks up as it seems to enclose around the pair of girls, as if waiting to witness the end of the full out brawl that had spun between them. The thunder rumbles the ground beneath, too close for either of their likings. The parking lot of Riverdale High is almost completely empty, aside from a few stray cars, a 1995 black mercedes, and a cherry red convertible impala. To any bystander who just so happened to have the misfortune of stumbling upon the pair of cousins, they’d probably think they were merely insane, considering they’re practically taking all too extreme arguing to another level, whilst in the middle of a rapidly growing thunderstorm. However, neither one can seem to care - in fact, it’s almost as if neither one has actually realized the truth of the situation, and how idiotic they must look. Or, perhaps, they simply don’t care.

 

The one with flaming, auburn red locks surely doesn’t - she can’t say the same for the one with a golden pigmented crown for hair. For once in her life, she doesn’t care about her lipstick, and how’s it’s probably smudged because of all of the water and how often she’s nervously licked her lips in the past ten minutes. She doesn’t care about her mascara, and how her cheeks are probably long gone from being retained of the black stains that stream down her cheeks due to both her endless amount of tears and the rain. She doesn’t care about her clothes, and how utterly soaked they are, or her hair, and how horrid it probably looks by this point. If she were being honest with herself, and she is, she had stopped caring when her heart had been ripped into pieces, shattered, the mere moment her eyes had landed upon a simple twitter picture.

 

“Just - just explain to me one thing.” Elizabeth, _Betty,_ insists, from where she stands in the middle of the parking lot. Her hair is completely soaked to her scalp, but unlike Cheryl, she has it in a tight ponytail, which, from all of the rain, has seemed to actually loosen for once. “Why _her_?”

 

Cheryl’s hands clench, fingers digging into her palms, tight enough to the point where her knuckles turn an even whiter shade than her ivory complexion already consists of. She’s always been known for being brash or compulsive, and even in this _extremely_ vehement “disagreement”, it’s no different.

 

“Because - !” She rasps, voice suddenly lower than it had previously been a few minutes ago, when they’re truculent argument had consisted of nothing but bellows of frustration. “Because.. because I’m in love with _her_!” She cries out, with what's probably as much force as she can currently muster in this sequence of unfortunate events.

 

The confession results in Betty stopping dead in her tracks, any sense of hostility and anger dissipating from her face almost immediately. Cheryl doesn’t think she’s ever seen Betty more dumbfounded than she appears to be right now, shock and confusion being what appears to be taking over her features. The atmosphere seems to shift in an instant, and even though the rain is still pattering against them, treating them as if they were ants being attacked upon by an eight year old and a hose, it seems _silent._

 

As expected, Betty is _completely_ taken aback by the news, and Cheryl doesn’t know whether or not she should relish in the fact that she’s finally managed to shut the blonde up, or mourn over the fact that what she had just admitted was _true_.

 

“You’re - what?” Betty finally manages to choke out, voice barely audible as thunder shakes the ground again, clamorous. The small hick town weather is seemingly fitting for the mood, treating them as if they’re in some cliche, Hollywood typical movie. However, Cheryl finds that she doesn’t care that she’s completely soaked to the core, trembling from the chill. She’s barely even noticed.

 

Cheryl scoffs and rolls her eyes. “You heard me,” is all she offers in response, angrily pushing her fiery locks of red hair away from her face in order to see more clearly, suddenly regretful in her decision to leave it down this morning. Nevertheless, she tries to gather herself and continue to pour all of her exasperation into her infamous Blossom glare, which, hopefully, would let Betty know just how furious she actually is, despite the fact that the tears streaming down her face are screaming in despair.

 

(Cheryl tries to tells herself that they aren’t tears - they’re only droplets of water, from the clouds above.)

 

Betty’s practically stammering on her words, clearly taken aback and unknowing on what to say, how to reply. “I - I don’t understand.” She murmurs, and Cheryl has to strain her ears in order to hear her. “I don’t..”

 

Cheryl cuts her off before she can finish. “I knew you wouldn’t, Elizabeth! That’s why I didn’t tell you!” She exclaims, practically having to strain every muscle in her body to stop herself from gripping onto her sopping red hair and yanking it out in frustration.

 

“If I knew, I wouldn’t have- “

 

“You call me your sister, Betty! You claim to trust me, so why couldn’t you with this?” Cheryl whimpers, voice suddenly quieting, the redhead desperate for it not to crack. “I told you it was a huge misunderstanding, but clearly you don’t trust me as much as you say you do. But - whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore. She’s gone, you got what you wanted.” She sighs, shoulders slacking, utterly and completely defeated.

 

Betty shakes her head, and opens her mouth as if to counter what had escaped Cheryl’s lips. However, even she finally seems to realize there’s nothing she can do to defend herself, so she allows her shoulder’s to slump in defeat as well, speechless.

 

It’s quiet between them again, till finally, after a bout of inaudible words, “What do you mean she’s gone?” Betty voices instead, vocals slightly strained from their yelling - however, it’s quieter now, barely audible over the rain, but still there. Cheryl shakes her head, finally breaking their eye contact and looking past the blonde with narrowed eyes.

 

“Saw some pictures of her with someone else on her fucking Twitter.” She snaps, her best defense to act as if the words she’s speaking don’t hurt as much as they really do - as if someone’s reached inside of her, shattered her heart, before leaving her to die from the inside out on the ground, _alone._ “Found someone better than me, of course. I shouldn’t even be surprised, I knew we wouldn’t work out.”

 

_Alone._

 

She had promised Cheryl she’d never be _alone._  Not ever again.

 

_Guess that was a lie too._

 

The color has seemingly disappeared from Betty’s face, and Cheryl can’t tell whether or not it’s because of how the cold is catching up to them, or because of the reality of the situation.

 

“Cheryl-“

 

“Don’t,” The redhead cuts her off before she can say anything else, suddenly feeling light headed, sorrowful, the same feeling she had felt the moment her twin brother had been taken away from her without so much as a goodbye. She still remembers it like it was yesterday, how she had playing in the river with Josie McCoy before a sudden feeling of dread and suffocation had overcome all of her senses, hours before they had actually broken the news to her. “I’ll see you at home.” Cheryl says, biting on her lip to stop herself from losing all control of her emotions right here, right now, in the fucking parking lot of Riverdale High. The last thing she needs is to have a breakdown in front of Betty Cooper.

 

Betty takes a few steps toward her before Cheryl turns around, clenching her teeth. “Actually, I won’t. I don’t think I’ll be seeing _you_ for awhile.” She spits, frustration coursing through her veins as she finally turns around, heels clacking against the pavement of the parking lot. It’s still raining, but she can’t hear Betty coming after her, thankfully.

 

There’s no point in rushing to the convertible - she’s already completely soaked to the core, and she doesn’t have a death wish to trip on the asphalt, due to how uneven the pavement is. A part of her wants to turn back to look at Betty, see if she’s still staring at her in defeat or driving away in her own car, but her pride takes over, and she refuses to spare a final glance at the cousin she’s come to know as her sister.

 

Instead, Cheryl let’s out a wince the moment she slides into the cherry red convertible and slams the door shut, her sopping wet jeans sticking to her legs as she sits upon the leather seats, a deep breath escaping her nose. As much as she’d rather sulk in her sorrows in the safety of her car, she’s still shivering to the bone, and the extreme discomfort her saturated clothes are providing against the seats aren’t helping in the slightest. Instead, she takes a final glance at the front of Riverdale High, an almost gargled sob escaping her lips as she tries not to recall any memories of a simpler, happier time. Forcing the car into drive, Cheryl speeds out of the parking lot, the incessant rain pounding against the top.

 

She tries not to think about it - god, she really, _really_ does, but the sight of the front of the school, the thoughts of Toni Topaz fresh on her mind, and before she knows it, the memories come rushing back to her.

 

The first time they had met had been there, in the front of the school, where Cheryl had just been. Despite being almost halfway through her senior year, she still remembers the first day of her high school days like it was yesterday. She was a freshman, Toni a sophomore, but Cheryl knew her to be one of Betty’s closest friends, and nothing really more. They were hardly even acquaintances back then - Cheryl only ever saw her when her and Betty would have sleepovers, or when Toni attended the school’s football games.

 

Suddenly her sophomore year, and Toni’s junior, rolled around, and Cheryl found herself in a couple of classes with the brunette because of how intelligent she was, above most of the kids her age. She remembers boasting about it for a long time, her pride shooting up like a skyrocket when she had suddenly become friends with a few of the juniors, had even known a couple of seniors.

 

They talked a lot more during that year. Cheryl still remembers the excitement and the sensation she got when Toni convinced her to start skipping her lunch period with her, considering Toni had a free period during that time, and the two begun sneaking around the school and hiding from any of the school monitors. As time went by, and they grew closer, the brunette would even sneak her out and occasionally take her for a ride around the area on top of her motorcycle. Cheryl had never experienced anything like it, having been forced to be the “perfect child” her entire life till the death of her parents when she was in eighth grade, and her aunt had taken her under her wing. There was a certain thrill that came with sneaking out and around with Toni Topaz, and god, was it the best feeling.

 

They were friends, at most, but Cheryl felt the undeniable connection that begun to grow between them. At some point, they had even begun to open up to each other a bit about their traumas - something the redhead hadn’t ever done with _anyone._

 

Unfortunately, it came crashing down a few months before school ended, and before she knew it, Toni had acquired a boyfriend. No one was surprised, really - Toni _is_ the most beautiful woman Cheryl’s ever met, and she’s easy to get along with, compatible with practically anyone. However, Cheryl was completely and utterly distraught, and god, her old self couldn’t even understand _why_ it had hurt so much. She didn’t skip lunch with Toni for a week - hadn’t even shown up to lunch in general, and the brunette had texted her every day to make sure she was okay, wondering where she was during those periods. It was especially hard to avoid her due to the fact that they shared a few other classes, and of course, it didn’t last long.

 

Eventually, she had forced herself to suck it up and move on, ignoring the fact that it was quite obvious to herself that she had somehow managed to develop a crush on Toni Topaz. She hadn’t even known she had liked girls like that, and remembers spending a perpetual amount of time telling herself that it wasn’t right, that it was _deviant_ , as her mother had used to tell her when a young Cheryl had asked the innocent question, “Why can’t a girl marry a girl?”

 

However, Toni and the guy, Chuck Clayton, only dated for a few months anyway, much to Cheryl’s relief. They lasted from the end of the year till a few months into the summer, when a high school party had driven them over the edge. Cheryl still vividly remembers the nightmare that had been Reggie Mantle’s party as she hazily stumbled around, as if attempting to drown herself in alcohol and drinking her problems away would’ve done anything. Perhaps it was for the greater good in the end, anyway, because it lead to both her and Toni discovering Chuck in bed with Tina Patel, one of Cheryl’s fellow vixens. She wasn’t even that hot, if you asked Cheryl - not compared to Toni, anyway. Perhaps it was the change in scenery - Toni was more of the bad girl type, leather jackets, cigarettes, gang activity, and Tina was on the cheerleading team, dressed nice, had decent grades.. the good girl type.

 

Toni ended it right then and there, and Cheryl still remembers watching the scene unfold before her, Chuck apologizing endlessly and claiming it wasn’t what it looked like, despite the fact that her and Toni just previously saw them in bed, hands all over each other. When Toni refused to give him another chance, the goblin screamed some harsh, grating words at her, and Cheryl remembers coming to the brunette’s defense and shutting him down with a few of her own words.

 

Cheryl had comforted Toni, the slight alcohol coursing throughout her probably making it easier to do so. Much to her surprise, however, Toni wasn’t really upset - they had only dated for a few months, and, the brunette had admitted to having had feelings for someone else for awhile now. Cheryl doesn’t remember if that had been what had gotten her hopes up, but somehow, they had ended up sitting on the bed, suddenly closer than they had ever been..

 

She doesn’t know who made the first move, but somehow, they had ended up kissing, which didn’t escalate into anything else, considering Toni had just gotten out of a relationship. It was awkward, considering they were both somewhat drunk, and neither wanted to take advantage of the other. A few days later, and after a few conversations consisting of what had happened that night, Toni had admitted to having hid her feelings for the redhead for the past few months, Cheryl eagerly telling her about her reciprocations. From then on, they took it slow, and by the time Cheryl’s junior year and Toni’s senior year had arrived, they were official.

 

No one knew of their relationship - it was almost an unspoken agreement between the two, that they’d keep it secret. Toni didn’t seem to mind the fact that she was dating a girl, having been openly bisexual, but it was more so the fact that Cheryl was a Blossom that concerned her, as the Serpents refused to associate with them. Meanwhile, Cheryl wasn’t out to anyone yet, and the thought of anyone finding out she liked _girls,_ and only _girls,_ made her palms grow sweaty and her throat run dry. Especially Betty - even though she knew the blonde and her mother would most likely be nothing but supportive of her, she couldn’t even begin to fathom the idea of the blonde’s reaction upon finding out her cousin, or sister, as she often called her, was dating one of her best friends.

 

They’d make out in empty classrooms at school, steal kisses when Betty turned around at home, and often lie to anyone else about where they were going - and who they were _with_ when they begun to disappear on the weekends together. They’d go skinny dipping and make out in the water, exchange soft kisses while listening to soft music in the back of Cheryl’s convertible, or simply sneak into Toni’s trailer and curl into each other to watch movies. One of Toni’s favorite things to do had been stargazing, simply laying on top of a blanket underneath the stars, where the distance from the town allowed them to see the sky without any pollution. Just like Cheryl had almost done when they had been friends, she finally opened up to the brunette about her demons, past traumas, and Toni had done the same.

 

She remembers waking up spent after the first night she had ever made love to someone else before, with Toni whispering words of love and praise into her ear as she made her come over and over again. Wrapped up in the warmth of the sheets, legs intertwined, eyes watered from endless amounts of lust and rapture, they had exchanged their first I love you’s, and Cheryl had never felt so _content_ and _safe_ than she did right then, right in between Toni’s arms.

 

It was everything Cheryl could’ve asked for during her junior year - falling in love with Toni Topaz had just been so natural, so easy. One moment she wasn't there, and the next, she was, and Cheryl could hardly remember life before her. She especially loved it when Toni would just randomly stop and stare at her, eyes gleaming with something resembling that of pure adoration, as if she were just discovering the redhead, just falling in love with her all over again.  

 

Keeping it a secret hadn’t been as problematic as both girls would’ve expected - just like the days where’d they sneak around the school as friends, Cheryl loved the thrill of keeping it a secret.

 

Suddenly, the end of Toni’s senior year hurled itself at them with no warning, and during her last few months of school, Cheryl found herself growing increasingly anxious. As much as Toni never admitted it, the brunette was quite intelligent, able to grasp onto things quickly, and see things from a new perspective. And, no matter how much Cheryl loved and cherished her, she was willing to give her up so she could chase her dreams.

 

Betty and Toni had actually been planning to go to a college together only a few hours from here, share the same dorm, everything. Cheryl had been ecstatic at that, but then Toni had started acting strange the final few weeks leading up to graduation, disappearing more often, seemingly hiding things, becoming hesitant in where her and Cheryl went together, and then suddenly, she had changed her mind about where she wanted to go. Instead, she chose a university almost halfway across the country from where Riverdale was, all the way down in Texas.

 

Cheryl was saddened by the thought of the brunette being further, but hadn’t really minded it, as she hadn’t expected Toni to stay near anyway. However, Betty was completely mortified. Toni had spun up some excuse about how her father was sick, and how she wanted to be closer to him. Cheryl wasn’t sure if that was true - through the entirety of their relationship the brunette always talked about how she didn’t care about her father, and how she thought it was better for her to stay here in Riverdale with her uncle when her mother had died and her father moved away. However, Cheryl didn’t question Toni’s strange actions, as she herself had been distraught when her parents had died, despite the fact that she had always hated them. But, it had lead to a fallout between Betty and Toni, and the two had some huge fight, and haven’t spoken since.

 

Cheryl refused to take sides, as in Betty’s eyes, her and Toni were only mutual friends. Later, Cheryl and Toni spent every waking moment together till Toni would have to leave for college, their relationship still kept a secret. Since then, Toni would come up to “visit her uncle”, the same time Cheryl would “disappear” for the weekend, and they’d spend that time together, wrapped up in each other’s arms. Then, when Thanksgiving break arrived, and Toni suggested coming to spend the entire week back up in Riverdale, Cheryl had been practically jumping for joy at the thought.

 

Toni hadn’t stayed with Cheryl till the final few days before she’d have to go back, deciding to spend time with her uncle and grandfather, as well as the rest of the Serpents. However, Betty hadn’t been expecting to find Toni inside Cheryl’s room on Thanksgiving night, watching some cheesy romcom and stealing kisses from each other. Luckily, Betty hadn’t walked in on an intimate moment, too oblivious to see what had really been going on. She refused to say a word to both Cheryl and Toni the entire time Toni was there, and Sunday morning, Cheryl dropped Toni off at the airport like she always did, where the two exchanged a long, heated kiss without a care of who saw at the airport, one that ultimately had Cheryl’s heart melting.

 

Toni had been acting weird during that time - acting more clingy than usual, sharing extra kisses, becoming more intimidate. Not that Cheryl minded, but it was strange, considering the redhead had always been the more clingy one in their relationship.

 

It wasn’t even a few days later before Betty and Cheryl had finally been forced to face the elephant in the room, and that’s when they had fought. Being cousins before they had been ‘siblings’, they had always gotten along, never really argued over small things. They had been especially close, due to the fact that Cheryl had lost Jason in eighth grade, and Betty lost Polly in fifth - leaving the both of them with a similar sense of sorrow. They had managed to fill those empty holes for each other, and then suddenly, they had shared their biggest fight, _ever._

 

Then, it was only about a few days later that Cheryl had seen the twitter photos. The redhead hadn’t even actually been stalking - they simply popped up in her feed, much to her astonishment. There, was a picture of Toni Topaz, _her_ Toni Topaz, in all of her glory, grinding up close to some annoyingly attractive guy. There were a few of them, in fact - and the last one, which was of the two kissing, had Cheryl choking on her tongue and staring down at her phone in shock, before barely managing to stop herself from launching the electronic device across the room.

 

She had been a fool to assume things would be alright between them. Despite the fact that Toni had seemed perfectly content a few weeks ago, college always drove couples apart, and she shouldn’t have thought that they’d be any different. Besides - what had she really been expecting? She _is_ still a senior in goddamn high school, stuck in this goddamn cursed excuse of a town, while Toni’s a fucking freshman in college, in a completely different state, living her own life. They were never going to last.

 

She had simply bathed herself in her own tissues and sadness for the entire day, considering with Betty had been avoiding her and Alice spent a lot of her time at the register, and it was fairly easy to hide. That was exactly what she was planning to do today when she got home from work. However, Betty had different plans.

 

Today, she had been getting out of work across the street from Riverdale High, where she had found Betty waiting for her near her car, looking rather displeased. Cheryl had been avoiding her ever since their big fight a few days ago, and obviously it was for the better, as the “civil conversation” Betty had tried to have with her had just lead to this.

 

Now, present time, Cheryl pulls over on the side of the road when the tears behind her eyes and rain against her window become too much, soft hiccups escaping her mouth. She ignores the honk of a car behind her, before stopping the car the moment she drives off road, and slamming her hands down onto the steering wheel, the impala shaking as she does so. She’s crying, obviously, but Cheryl tells herself that it’s just the water that still continues to fall from her head, running into her eyes.

 

God, she hates this. She’s being completely over dramatic, heart broken, crying, over a stupid relationship that clearly wasn’t as serious as she thought it was. Toni had been her first and only relationship, and having dating for more than a year, Cheryl had assumed that what they had was special, that it _was_ serious. _Clearly_ , it wasn’t, considering Toni had simply moved on like nothing, forgetting all about Cheryl and what they had.

 

She finds herself letting a sob escape her lips as she thinks back to when Toni had promised her that she loved her, that she was _in_ love her with, that Cheryl was best thing that had ever happened to her. Clearly, she had been lying the entire time, perhaps feeling pity for poor, broken little Cheryl Blossom, who needed a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold. Maybe that was Toni’s reason for wanting to keep it a secret - perhaps Cheryl just wasn’t enough for her.

 

Eventually, it becomes all too much, and when Cheryl’s breathing is completely out of control and it takes her a few moments to regulate it, she leans her head against the leather seat, eyelids beginning to droop in exhaustion. It’s near ten at night, and god, the adrenaline of the previous situation is fading, because now she seems to actually realize she’s shivering pretty badly, and how cold it is in the car.

 

A few hiccups escape her mouth once again as she tries her best to think about something else, despite how damn hard it is. Starting the car back up, Cheryl begins her drive to her best friend’s house, Veronica Lodge - daughter of who’s probably the fucking mafia of Riverdale. She’d head over to Josie’s instead, considering Josie is less inclined to ask questions in regards as to why Cheryl looks as if she’s crawled through the debts of hell and back, however, her house is further, and, it’ll be easier to sneak into Veronica’s with alerting a parent, rather than Josie’s.

 

She doesn’t even call or text - instead, she uses a spare key to the Pembrooke she got a few years back, letting herself in. Hermione is sitting on the couch with a glass of wine when Cheryl practically stumbles inside, a welcoming smile upon her lips. Veronica’s parents seem to give her the most freedom out of all of her friends parents, so she doesn’t even question why Cheryl’s here this late on a school night. Though, one good look at Cheryl, and Hermione’s brows furrow in concern, before the Latina turns and calls out Veronica’s name.

 

“Mija, Cheryl’s here!”

 

It takes a few moments, but eventually Cheryl’s best friend practically waltz’s out of her room, already in her pajamas, looking less than pleased. However, as soon as her eyes lay upon the redhead who, admittedly, is looking a little less for wear, she suddenly seems more awake, eyes wide with concern and surprise. Admittedly, Cheryl doesn’t think she’s ever been this much of a mess in front of someone since Jason’s death back in eighth grade, crying for hours in between Betty’s arms.

 

_Betty.._

 

When Veronica opens her mouth to question what in the hell has happened, Cheryl simply shakes her head, and the Latina quickly shuts her mouth and decides to accept the fact that the redhead probably won’t be talking for the night. Instead, she offers her some dry clothes to change into, and the entirety of her bed. (Though, Cheryl objects and tells her she doesn’t have to kick herself out of her room for her.)

 

(In reality, she’d rather not be alone, even though deep down, she knows she is.)

 

After spending nearly an hour in the warmth of the shower and throwing on some dry clothes, Cheryl walks into Veronica’s room to find the bed covered with a ton of blankets on the side she usually sleeps on, and the brunette occupying the far left of it. She’s typing away on her laptop, and Cheryl suddenly remembers that there’s a history project that they had partnered up for due in a few days. She feels guilty for not helping Veronica on it - but, then again, she has done about ninety nine percent of all of their projects herself..

 

Cheryl settles on the other side from Veronica, on top of where the brunette left the mount of blankets. Friends plays in the background, and as Cheryl sinks into the warm, dry blankets, a small breath of relief escapes her nose. She’s never been religious, but she can’t help but thank whatever god is out there for gifting her with such an amazing best friend. Friends has always been her go to show for relaxation or just to simply have a good laugh with, and Cheryl must look pretty bad tonight, considering Veronica willingly put it on despite not caring for the show, as it’s always Cheryl that has to beg for her to put it on during their sleepovers.

 

“So,” Veronica begins, over the background noise of the TV and the sounds of fingers typing away on the keyboard, voice gentle and hesitant, as if Cheryl Blossom is a broken vanity vase that has just been glued back together, only waiting to be shattered once again.

 

(In a way, she is.)

 

“Are you gonna provide me with an explanation?” The raven haired girl questions, gaze lingering upon the suddenly small frame that belongs to Cheryl as she simply nuzzles her head further into the warmth of the blankets. If she tries hard enough, she can imagine that she’s nuzzling into Toni on a cold winter morning, waking up after an eventful night of lust, love, and blies.

 

_No._

 

The redhead releases a small sigh, eyes fluttering shut as the exhaustion of tonight’s events catch up to her. “Tomorrow.” She says quietly, voice barely audible, despite the fact that she knows they both have school. There’s no way Cheryl’s gonna drag her ass there - and, perhaps Josie would, but Veronica isn’t one to care about education as much as everyone else, especially because it’s their senior year. So, chances are, her best friend will stay behind, and the redhead can’t decide if she’ll appreciate it or not.

 

Despite the fact that her eyelids are closed, the entirety of her once trembling frame wrapped up in layers upon layers of blankets, she can still sense Veronica’s eyes on her, curious, no doubt. However, the Latina sighs and sits back, and the familiar sound of fingers against the keyboard is resumed.

 

“Okay. Just - try to get a good sleep then, okay? Looks like you need it.”

 

And, with that thought in mind, Cheryl doesn’t nod, or even acknowledge it. Instead, she simply allows herself to relax into the cocoon of blankets, allowing darkness to consume her.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**II**

 

-

 

Even in the warmth of the vast penthouse known as the Pembrooke, the chill of the wintery air still seems to reach Cheryl, the crisp atmosphere seemingly stinging her nose and chilling her to the bones. Her eyes flutter open in her disruption of slumber, and the first thing she’s met with is an unusually diminutive amount of sunlight filtering past white, silky blinds that drape over the window.

 

Immediately, she knows she must’ve slept past what’s usually expected of her, considering she _never_ wakes up after the sun. At first, she’s confused, and, well, _tired_ , so she pulls the thick blankets further over her face with a soft groan of displeasure, shutting her eyes once again. However, someone’s familiar soft chuckle fills the room, and Cheryl slowly reopens her eyes with confusion, only to be met with a slightly concerned, slightly amused face.

 

_Veronica._

 

“Good morning to you too.” The brunette murmurs, sitting on the edge of the bed. Cheryl blinks a few times, rather groggily, still trying to get a grasp on her surroundings. Veronica’s here, she’s in the Pembrooke..

 

A few beats of silence pass, and Veronica raises a brow.

 

“Are you hungry?” She questions, her hand coming in contact with Cheryl’s bare arm - and, though Cheryl flinches at first, she allows the brunette to begin caressing up and down for comfort. She still doesn’t exactly know why she’s being comforted, or why she’s here entirely, _or_ why Veronica is being so nice - Veronica’s one of her best friends, and of course, they are nice to each other, but they don’t usually comfort each other endless the other is in desperate need of it.  

 

When she moves her head to nod, despite still being confused, a slight amount of pain shoots through her neck - she’s sore, it seems - and it all comes rushing back to her.

 

The argument in the rain with Betty, the twitter photos of Toni, knocking on the Pembrooke’s door at eleven at night, or more so, _letting_ herself into the Pembrooke at eleven at night.. she remembers everything, and she must show it, because Veronica’s expression quickly changes to something filled with sympathy. Cheryl’s never been one to accept sympathy from anyone - never liked showing any sort of vulnerability or possible fragility, but in this moment -

 

She just -

 

_God -_

 

“I have Smithers making breakfast.” Veronica murmurs, hand still stroking Cheryl’s bare arm with a sense of gentleness she would’ve expected more so out of someone like Josie, rather than her. Veronica must feel especially sympathetic. At that moment, the aroma of bacon, pancakes, and syrup fills the room, and Cheryl shuts her eyes for a few moments, breathing in the scent, before opening them again and sitting up with a wince. She realizes Veronica’s already dressed - overly dressed, of course - and she finds herself staring at the clock on her dresser.

 

“Aren’t you going to school?” She asks quietly, or, more so croaks, considering she hasn’t used her voice in awhile, aside from yelling at her cousin in the parking lot of her high school for a good ten minutes. A few beats of silence pass, before Veronica raises a brow and simply chuckles, as if the answer is obvious.

 

“And leave you here all by yourself?” She teases. “I’m sure my mother will be fine if I skip a day of school; and besides, she can’t stop me, even if she wanted me to go.” Veronica grins, manicured fingernails stilling upon Cheryl’s arm before she pulls away. It hurts, but a small smile comes to the redhead’s lips at the joke, because Veronica’s right - her father is almost always absent from her life, and her mother seems to trust Veronica enough to not get herself pregnant, kidnapped, or killed, and so, she doesn’t tell her what to do, most of the time. Alice Cooper, no matter how much Cheryl loves and adores her for taking her under her wing in a time of need and distraught, is the complete opposite.

 

She’d ask Veronica why she’s all dressed up, considering she isn’t even going to school, but she’s sure she already knows the reason. It’s something Veronica does just because she can - however, Cheryl had been forced to do it when, once upon a time, she lived inside the Blossom Manor, and they were forced to be up and dressed for breakfast on the weekends by eight, lunch by twelve, and dinner by five.

 

That’s one thing she had barely been able to shake since moving into the Cooper household, and even though it took a few years, she did often enjoy eating breakfast in her pajamas, and not always having to look so prestige and perfect, even when she was home alone. When she was feeling a little audacious, she’d even take her cereal to the couch and watch whatever came on the television whilst eating in the living room, rather than the confines of the table. There was even one time she had eaten leftover spaghetti for breakfast, all while sitting in the midst of the living room floor, home alone, the rush of feeling as if she were breaking all the rules in the world definitely far too exhilarating for something as simple as that.

 

Then, she met Toni, who would sometimes spend all day in her pajamas on the weekends and eat pizza in her _bedroom_ whenever she wanted. Toni, who stayed up late at night and slept in later than Cheryl could even fathom. Toni, who showed her what it was like to be free of restraint, what it was like to _live._

 

What it was like to _love._

 

Admittedly, Toni wasn’t Alice Cooper’s favorite person, considering she was the complete opposite of Betty Cooper, and everything Alice _wouldn’t_ want in a daughter. However, she tolerated her, and, even if she didn’t want to admit it, she did share a sense of care for the girl, considering Betty and Toni had been best friends since somewhere around third grade and she had always been like another sister to Betty _._

 

Till she _wasn’t._

 

Cheryl doesn’t even realize there are tears streaming down her cheeks until a soft hand grasps her own, and a tissue box sits resting in front of her, Veronica watching her with nothing but sorrow for her. It’s a peculiar sight, Cheryl thinks - her and Veronica have always been the type of best friends to tease each other, bicker over stupid things, but they’re close, nonetheless. Now, here she is, doing her best to comfort the girl she’s known since the beginning of her high school days.

 

A choked out sob escapes her lips as she cups her mouth, before bringing a tissue to her face and making a feeble attempt to wipe away her tears. She hates crying in front of anyone, and of course, the only people she had grown somewhat comfortable with crying in front of had been both Jason and Toni. But, they’re both gone, just like everyone else in her life who she ever cared about.

 

_Everyone you ever care about always leaves you._

 

And before she knows it, violent sobs begin wracking through her seemingly frail body as her entire being begins to shake, no longer able to control it.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whimpers to Veronica, who’s still sitting a few feet away, squeezing her hand, a few of her own tears leaking from her eyes. The brunette shakes her head, her mouth opening as she tries to speak, but god, Cheryl’s never been this distraught before - not in front of her, at least. She has no idea what to say - no idea if she should even say anything - so instead, she pulls Cheryl into what’s probably the tightest hug she’s ever given someone.

 

“Don’t apologize.” She replies gently, still rather shocked by the entire ordeal as she begins rubbing circles into Cheryl’s back with her left arm, as Cheryl let’s out another sob, before burying her face in her shoulder and wrapping her arms around Veronica, thankful. Veronica still has no idea what’s going on, considering Cheryl hasn’t shown any signs of sorrow for a good few months, aside from the fact that her Betty had gotten into a fight a few days ago - the reason, something Veronica still doesn’t know.

 

Everything is all so sudden, and she would be lying if she said it didn’t scare her a little bit.

 

They sit like that for along time, Cheryl simply crying into what’s most likely a very expensive prada dress Veronica’s currently wearing, heart heavy, but if the brunette is upset about Cheryl getting tear stains all over her expensive clothes, she doesn’t voice it. Instead, she allows the redhead to cry it out, whatever “it” is, only cooing her softly when her breathing gets out of control or her sobs grow to be too loud. Though Veronica has never seen Cheryl this devastated, she has witnessed a few of her panic attacks, which had been fairly common her freshman year, when anything that reminded her of Jason made its way to one of her senses.

 

After what feels like hours, and Cheryl’s heart wrenching sobs turn into soft hiccups and sniffles, the redhead pulls away from the brunette with a sad smile, uncaring of how she appears to be at the moment as she wipes at her eyes. Veronica only continues to watch her with a sad expression as she tries her best to console Cheryl - though it’s rather difficult, considering she still has no clue as to what’s going on.

 

“Thanks.” Cheryl murmurs, wiping at her cheeks as the occasional stray tear manages to slip from her eyes, before sighing in relief as Veronica hands her a clear cup of water off her nightstand that she hadn’t even known was there before. She’s spent such a long time crying in the past twenty four hours, she’s rather shocked that she isn’t straight up died of dehydration at this point.

 

Veronica opens her mouth to say something, however, a low grumble fills the room, and the redhead instantly glances down at her stomach in surprise. Cheryl looks back up in shock, before soft chuckles fill the room, despite the previous bout of emotional tension that had struck the room.

 

“So - you are hungry, then.” Veronica gives an overly enthusiastic smile, even making sure to show her ivories behind her nude colored lips. It lifts the mood in the room a bit, and Cheryl makes a weak attempt to return the smile, before taking Veronica’s offered hand and allowing the brunette to drag her out of the bed.

 

—

 

The smell of bacon and pancakes waft through the kitchen by the time Cheryl bothers to shuffle out of the room, dressed in a few of Veronica’s clothes. For one, the girl owns practically _nothing_ that’s comfortable _,_ which, in a way, reminds her of an old version of herself. That, and her body feels as if someone has attached a bunch of dumbbells to each limb and told her to keep walking till they’ve decided she’d suffered enough agony.

 

It wasn’t her intention to change - but, upon peeking her head out of Veronica’s room and seeing both Smithers and Hermione in the living room and kitchen, plus the thought that Hiram could be lurking around anywhere considering he seemed to randomly come and go, she decided just to throw on some actual clothes and stumble her way out. Smithers is dressed in one of those typical red and black butler suits, and Hermione has a purple dress on similar to Veronica’s. If Hiram is around here somewhere, Cheryl already knows that he’ll be wearing some sort of suit.

 

It’s not like they’ll look at her in disprovement if she doesn’t look fancy - in fact, she’s quite happy that, even though it can be similar to her old life in the Blossom Manor, it’s different all the same. They all seem to make their own choices, and deciding to dress up all fancy like for the entirety of their day must be one of them.

 

So she sits, a pair of Veronica’s old jeans upon her legs and a soft, wintery cotton shirt resting upon her midsection. It’s not fancy at all, and Cheryl’s surprised Veronica even owned it, but luckily, the mother of her best friend had just left, and now Cheryl, Veronica, and Smithers are the only ones left to occupy the kitchen as Smithers serves them a plate. Being here, at the Pembrooke, had always given her a lasting sense of normalcy - in remembrance to her life at Thornhill. Really, she wants nothing to do with her old life, and appreciates the Cooper household, but she can’t help but miss Thornhill and it’s sense of eerie horror that it seemed to spread to any guests they happened to have. Even though she always felt trapped within its walls, like some gothic heroine, she couldn’t help but feel out of place in the years after she moved into the Cooper Household. Perhaps that’s why she became such quick friends with Veronica - the girl reminded her of her old life.

 

“So?” Veronica asks, almost as soon as Cheryl takes her first bite into the aureate pancakes. She has to give it to the brunette, considering, aside from Betty, Veronica is one of Cheryl’s nosiest friends. Cheryl’s fairly surprised Veronica has managed to make it this far without completely bombarding her with questions.

 

She chews on the dough of the pancake for a considerable amount of time - probably, far too long than the normal person would - before she swallows, and glances up at Veronica with a raised a brow. Her and Veronica have always been the typical brash type friends with each other, and while occasionally it can be offensive, it also means they never beat around the bush, always getting straight to the point.

 

“Me and Betty..” she rasps, throat still slightly sore from the substantial amount of yelling she did yesterday, “we.. we fought. Again.” She sighs, unable to meet Veronica’s dark brown eyes, no matter how non judgemental they may be. She still has no idea how she’s even going to explain this entire thing to Veronica, really.

 

Veronica nods, ever the understanding friend, and urges her to continue. “About?”

 

Cheryl swallows again, despite the fact that the only thing to swallow is her own saliva, which, currently, feels as if it’ll choke her to death if she’s not careful. “About one of her friends.”

 

The brunette sat across from her cuts into her pancake, but her eyes remain planted on Cheryl’s face. “Which one? Kevin, or Toni?” She questions. “Or was it Jughead?” She adds, scrunching up her nose at the mention of the beanie wearing boy from the Southside. Cheryl winces at the mention of Toni’s name, though if Veronica notices, she doesn’t comment on it.

 

Rubbing at her makeupless eyes, Cheryl releases a small sigh. Veronica’s one of her best friends - she deserves to know the truth.

 

“Toni.” The redheaded girl murmurs, almost choking on how hard it is to simply utter the name to Veronica. A beat of silence passes, the only other noise coming from the sound of the light drizzle of rain outside, and Veronica raises a brow. Forcing herself to continue, Cheryl takes a deep breath. “Me and Toni - uh, we.. may, have engaged in.. that of an intimate intercourse. For.. a while.” She quickly adds, hands slightly trembling underneath the table. Cheryl’s never come out to _anyone_ before, aside from Toni (though, that was more of a given), and Betty, which wasn’t even a full twenty four hours ago.

 

Veronica continues nodding intently, as if waiting for her to go on. Cheryl furrows her brows in confusion, jaw dropping a tad. When she freezes, the brunette raises a brow.

 

“What?”

 

“That’s - that’s it?” Cheryl questions. “You’re not even shocked? You’re just gonna let me continue on?”

 

Veronica blinks. “Why would I be surprised?” She asks, acting as oblivious as Betty used to be when it came to anything sexual related.

 

“It’s - it’s just, Toni’s a woman.. you know that, right?” She says, voice faltering a bit as she voices it.

 

The other girl simply nods. “I’m very much aware on who Toni is.” She confirms, rolling her eyes.

 

“You’re not surprised? Toni’s a girl, and we..” Cheryl trails off, nervously playing with her fingers. Veronica gasps, before she lets out a chuckle upon realizing why the redhead had been so nervous.

 

“Sweet, innocent Cheryl Blossom,” she teases. “I always knew there was a bit of gay inside of you. Now, onward with the story.”

 

Cheryl blinks in surprise once again, before releasing a nervous chuckle, a slight amount of tension in her shoulders suddenly relieving itself as she launches back into her tale. “Okay. So - me and Toni, we, _dated,”_ she pauses after the word, coming to the conclusion that that is the first time she’s ever uttered that before to anyone, “at the beginning of junior year. We - we decided not to tell anyone, because, you know,” she makes random hand gestures at herself, in hopes Veronica will understand, and luckily, she does. “and recently, her and Betty got into an.. an argument. A.. uh, a sort of stupendous quarrel, I suppose. I sided with Toni, and then Betty, not aware of the fact that we were dating, was suddenly furious with me.” She sighs, the tension in her shoulders suddenly returning. “And then she tried to talk to me again last night, but I just got so infuriated, I admitted to being in love with Toni, and then I showed up here.”

 

Veronica’s no longer watching her - instead, her gaze is settled a little to the side, eyes narrowed, brows furrowed as she takes in everything Cheryl’s said.

 

“So you fell in love with Betty’s best friend, without telling anyone.” She begins, raising a brow in question. When Cheryl nods, she continues. “Then, her and Betty fought, you took her side, Betty got mad at you, and then you had a major fall out.”

 

Cheryl nods, glancing down at her feet. She left out the part about Toni practically cheating on her, but then again, Veronica doesn’t need to know about that..

 

Against her wishes, Veronica connects the pieces together. “You said _dated_?” She asks, raising a brow.

 

“What?”

 

“You said _dated,_  instead _dating._ Did you guys break up?” She clarifies her question rather bluntly. Similar to Toni, Veronica is the type of girl to not necessarily care too much for her school work - however, she is quite observant and intelligent, able to pin things together fairly quickly.

 

Cheryl falters, and suddenly the tears are rushing back to her eyes before she can stop them, and, _god,_ she is so tired of how much _crying_ she’s been doing in these past few days..

 

Scoffing, “Yeah. I mean - no.. I.. I don’t know.” She sighs, voice quiet. “Thanksgiving weekend, I invited Toni over and all, and things were just as great as they were during the school year, aside from the fact that Betty was.. vexed with the both of us. And then a few days ago, I saw some photos on twitter.” Cheryl takes a deep breath, willing for herself not to cry, yet, the tears slip out regardless. “It kind of looked like they were at a party, and there was one of Toni and some.. some _guy.._ making out.”

 

Okay, so maybe she exaggerated the _making out_ a tad, considering they were just _kissing,_ but in Cheryl’s eyes, it’s just as horrible. She still can’t believe it - doesn’t want to believe it..

 

Veronica takes everything in, eyes wide, head nodding. Cheryl was waiting for some form of comfort to follow, and perhaps if it were Josie, it would have come. However, considering its Veronica, the brunette only lifts her cup of orange juice to her mouth and tilts her head. “So, are you gonna ask her to explain herself?”

 

Cheryl shrugs. “Why would I do that?” She says bitterly, jaw clenched at the thought of speaking to Toni again. The entire situation makes her want to wallow in grief, but speaking to Toni just makes her..

 

_Furious._

 

Veronica raises a perfectly shaped brow. “Well, you did mention you are in love with her. Or - you _were_ in love with her.” She quickly adds. “You two dated since the beginning of junior year, which, in about a month, will be a year and a half. I’m no expert, but, shouldn’t you give her a chance to explain?”

 

A beat passes, and suddenly, the atmosphere seems to shift. Despite being angry, the thought that maybe, _maybe_ , Cheryl had gotten the entire situation wrong, crosses through her thoughts. _Maybe,_ Toni never lied to her. Maybe, it’s just a big misunderstanding..

 

Though she still feels dread and grief, similar to the time she had among knowing that her entire family, especially Jason, had been ripped away from her, a small sense of hope begins to flourish within her chest.

 

“Okay.” She smiles after she swallows another bite of pancakes. (Another thing she had been taught in the Blossom household was _never_ to chew with your mouth full. Even if Alice wasn’t as strict as Penelope, again, it was something she still never did.) “I’ll call her.”

 

Veronica simply grins in triumph, and Cheryl can only hope that this won’t be another one of those “big mistakes” she’s been seemingly making more often.

 

__

 

She has no idea how long it’s been, but if she had to make a guess, she’d say she’s been sitting here for about fifteen minutes. Finger dangling over the call button, curled up on the bed that belongs to Veronica, fresh out of the shower and newly changed. Her body is still sore, but not as sore as it had previously been this morning.

 

Veronica isn’t in here, taking it upon herself to give Cheryl the privacy she needed for the call. The redhead appreciates it.

 

With a deep breath, Cheryl presses the call button next to Toni’s contact name, which still reads as “ _T.T”_ with a few heart emojis beside it. Despite the fact that all of these events had happened a few days ago, Cheryl simply couldn’t bring herself to change the name.

 

It rings a few times, long enough to the point where Cheryl’s about ready to just give up and assume Toni’s going to ignore her. It is pretty early in the morning, early enough that Toni shouldn’t be at any of her classes yet, (yes, Cheryl knows her schedule) but late enough that she should be awake. On the last ring, just as Cheryl’s prepared to hang up, she answers.

 

“ _Hello?_ ”

 

Despite her voice being gruff and raspy, as if she just woke up, Cheryl still recognizes it as _Toni’s_. She can hear a few muffled voices in the background as well, but decides to ignore it, despite the feeling of unease beginning to build in her stomach.

 

“Hi, Toni.” She begins, nervously beginning to play with the rings on her fingers. “I was just calling to check on you.. we haven’t talked in a few days.” She murmurs, which is another strange factor. Since the last week of summer right after Toni had left for college, they had been facetiming nearly every day, exchanging numerous messages, always talking. It hadn’t once begun to fade away, proving to be an enjoyable system for them, if they couldn’t manage to be together physically. Till the end of Thanksgiving break, and suddenly, Toni was barely answering her calls, rarely replying to her messages.. it wasn’t even gradually. Suddenly, Toni just seemed to cut her off.

 

When Toni doesn’t respond, Cheryl continues. “I.. uh.. a few days ago, there were some pictures on twitter..” She trails off awkwardly. How is she supposed to confront this? She’s never even had any major fights with Toni, aside from stupid things that were resolved in less than twenty four hours.

 

A beat of silence passes, and a sigh is audible through the phone. “ _Right, the pictures.._ ” She sighs, as if she’s speaking to herself. Cheryl gulps.

 

“Yeah, the pictures.” She finds herself repeating. “They’re - it’s just.. there are some intimate ones.. and..”

 

Another sigh. _“Yeah.. uh, I probably should’ve said something earlier, so you didn’t have to find out through twitter.”_

 

Cheryl clenches her jaw as Toni continues to speak, her brain slowly processing what the brunette’s saying. _“But - I dunno, I just didn’t want to break up with you on Thanksgiving, I guess.”_

 

Everything around her seems to freeze.

 

Suddenly, her throat is closing in, and nothing makes sense anymore. She feels like she’s going to pass out, she can’t breathe, _why, how_ -

 

_“Cher?”_

 

“What are you saying?” Cheryl chokes out, barely able to keep her voice in tact. Her eyes begin to glisten with unshed tears, the atmosphere changing from one of nervousness to somber.

 

_“I’m sorry, Cheryl. I just think it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore.”_ She murmurs, almost sounding exhausted, as if Cheryl’s a burden she’s been waiting to take off her shoulders, extra luggage she’s just been waiting to release. _“Long distance.. it never works. It’ll be better for us in the long run.”_

 

Maybe this is just a nightmare that she has to wake up from.

 

“I - I don’t understand,” She whispers, voice trembling. With anyone else, she’d be able to put up some sort of facade, act like it wasn’t hurting her. But, just like Jason’s death, and now Toni’s _betrayal_ , she just _can’t._ Toni’s knows her too well to know it’d all be fraud. “What did I do wrong?”

 

She hears a sniffle on the other side of the phone, and thinks that maybe, this is hurting Toni too. If it is, then _why_ is she doing it?

 

_“Listen, Cher. You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. It’s just for the better.. Richard, he’s really great, and.. maybe it’s time we just see other people. I promise, it wasn’t you..”_

 

Cheryl grinds her teeth together, another one of her nervous habits. In a split second decision, she lets out an audible scoff, as if to act like this isn’t hurting her as much as it really is. How could Toni promise her that it isn’t her, when she had once promised Cheryl she’d never be alone?

 

“So, that’s it.” She snaps. “We’re just - done? It’s over?”

 

A sharp inhale of breath is audible through the phone, and Cheryl begins to wonder what _happened_ to Toni. This isn’t the girl she fell in love with, she knows it. 

 

Or, maybe she fell in love with someone who wasn’t real. Maybe _this_ is the real Toni, finally revealing itself after living a lie for so long. Or perhaps she just read into the relationship too much. Maybe it wasn’t even as serious as she made it out to be. Were they even dating in the first place? Something feels off, but she can’t quite bring herself to think about it, as there are too many other emotions overwhelming her senses.

 

_Maybe this is why she wanted to keep it a secret._

 

Nevertheless, with a million other emotions rushing through her, the cloudiness of her mind, she can’t bring herself to think about it right now.

 

“ _Yeah, this is it. I’m so sorry, Cheryl. We just- we shouldn’t talk anymore. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I didn’t know how else to tell you.”_

 

So this is it. They’re through.

 

Just like that.

 

“Okay.” She says, voice a little quieter, almost desperate. “Can we still be friends?” She asks, despite knowing it’d never work. Maybe this is just her way of trying to cling onto Toni Topaz for a little while longer, just to know she’ll still be present. She’ll still be _there._ After Jason’s death, Toni had been the one to pull her out of the abyss, and had _saved her_ from the undeniable pool of darkness she had thrown herself into. Maybe if Cheryl hadn’t clung onto Toni as much as she did, this wouldn’t have been this much of a problem.

 

_“Um, I don’t think so. That - that never works. Being friends after -“_ She cuts off, taking another breath, as if speaking about what they had is an obscenity. “ _I’m sorry.”_

 

Cheryl wants to grab her, hit her, anything. She wants to kiss her again, feel her soft, plush like lips pressed up against her own, feel her body being desperately melded into hers. She wants to yell and scream at her, but pull her into a hug and ask her what’s wrong. _Something_ is _wrong,_ she knows it -

 

Most of all, she wants to ask Toni if she ever even loved her.

 

“I-“ Cheryl tries to speak, but her voice comes up almost like a gargled, animalistic like noise, what’s probably a mix of a sob and gasp for breath. “O-okay.” She murmurs, fist clenched tightly. She knows her nails are digging into her palms, but she can’t even register the pain.

 

_“I’m- I’m sorry, Cher. I.. I wish we could’ve had more time..”_ Toni takes another breath, as if she wants to say more, yet can’t find the words. “ _I’m sorry.”_

 

She barely even registers the words coming through the screen.

 

All she feels is _anger._

 

“Don’t - don’t call me that.” Cheryl snaps, though her voice still comes out more shaky than intended. What does it matter how Toni thinks of her anymore? She clearly doesn’t want anything to do with her any longer. Cheryl Blossom really was just a hand for Toni Topaz to hold - a poor, desperate girl in need of affection, someone who clung way too hard onto a person who didn’t even reciprocate her affections.

 

Without another word, she hangs up.

 

Her phone falls to the floor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	3. Chapter 3

**III**

 

-

 

Outside, feathered like crystals slowly begin their descend from the clouds above, soft illusions of light clinging to flaming auburn locks. Tears practically freeze to ivory painted skin, breaths coming out in short puffs, a small cloud of air appearing with every exhale.

 

Cheryl Blossom stands in front of the Cooper residence, despite the fact that they had insisted she start calling it her own home. She’d resided here for over four years, but had never gotten used to calling it her own, no matter how much both Betty and Alice wish for her to do so. She’s a Blossom - and, despite wishing with every fiber of herself that she wasn’t, she still is, and she always will be.

 

It’s strange, really. No one under this roof has the same last name - after Hal Cooper had gotten arrested directly after Polly’s death a few years ago, Alice had started going by Alice Smith once again, and Cheryl had moved in a few years after. So, as of now, it’s Alice Smith, Elizabeth Cooper, and Cheryl Blossom.

 

She’s been standing here for quite awhile, hesitant to go in. Alice’s car isn’t here, so she’s probably at the register, but Betty’s is. And, of all people, Betty is the last person Cheryl wants to see.

 

(Well.. maybe except for Toni.)

 

(Cheryl never thought she’d live to see the day where she’d dread ever seeing Toni again.)

 

The thought of the warm, kind, pink haired girl immediately makes more tears rush to her eyes. She’s still unsure as to how she isn’t completely dehydrated, considering she had just spent the past half hour crying in Veronica’s arms once again, before attempting to gather herself together and get out of the Pembrooke as quick as possible, despite the fact that Veronica insisted she didn't have to leave. She was sure Alice would be upset if she still wasn’t home by the time she got back from the register, and knowing Betty, the blonde probably wouldn’t have said anything.

 

Wrapping her arms around her body for extra warmth, Cheryl unlocks the front door rather hesitantly. She inhales another sharp breath of air, ignoring the way it scratches at her raw throat, and slowly opens the door, wincing at the creaking noise it makes upon gradually being opened. All of the lights are off, it seems, and there’s no sound, aside from the movement of the frame scraping against the wood. She hopes against hope that Betty isn’t here - perhaps going somewhere with Jughead or Kevin, her boyfriend and _other_ best friend, despite the fact that both of them are elsewhere, due to the fact that they had graduated last year along with Betty.

 

She slowly shuts the door, letting out a small sigh of relief as a slight amount of warmth slowly begins to enclose around her, sheltering her from the harsh, cold weather outside. A few tears she hasn’t bothered to wipe away have frozen to her cheeks, and practically everything is numb - from the cold, or the feeling of emptiness that used to be held by Toni Topaz, Cheryl isn’t too sure.

 

A scream of horror nearly escapes her lips when she locks the door and turns around to find Betty, wrapped in a blanket and blonde hair down and out of her ponytail for once, standing at the foot of the stairs. She seems hesitant and unsure of herself for once, and Cheryl merely clutches at her chest and gasps once she sees her, before dropping the expression as quickly as she had put it on. She doesn’t even want to _look_ at Betty right now - doesn’t want to be reminded of anything that has to do with _Toni_.

 

Nevertheless, Betty, who is probably the most observant person Cheryl’s ever met (aside from Toni), speaks anyway, clearly ignoring Cheryl’s intentions to get away from her as the redhead drops her keys and makes her way toward the stairs in an attempt to get into her room, with the intent to lock herself up in there and never come back out.

 

“Sorry.” She apologizes with a soft, hesitant smile. “I didn’t know if my mom was back, but I thought I’d check. She was worried about you, you know.” She adds, voice nearly trembling with nerves. If Cheryl weren’t so mournful, she’d smirk at the thought of Betty clearly regretting what she had said to her. However, she can barely bring herself to care.

 

And, there’s the other thing. Alice Cooper, her aunt, had quickly become a mother figure to her in the years following her move in. Penelope Blossom had been nothing short of the devil incarnate herself, and the years leading up to her death, the redhead hadn’t known what it was like to have a loving, compassionate mother. In fact, she hadn’t even known mothers weren’t supposed to be like her own in the first place. However, when she had moved in, and Alice had shown her such gentleness, such care, the woman quickly fell into the role of mother, and before she knew it, she practically considered the blonde to be like another mother, despite the fact that they didn’t biologically share any blood. Toni had always told her that family didn’t mean blood, and that it was the people who said _I’ll be there,_ and stuck to their promise. The people who you loved, and loved you just as much.

 

_God, Toni.._

 

Betty clears her throat, and Cheryl snaps out of whatever daze she had been set in. With a frown, the redhead shakes her head, suddenly fearful that Betty had outed her to Alice. “Oh, yeah?” She bristles. “What’d you tell her?”

 

Betty’s voice is meek. “Just that you were at Josie’s or Veronica’s, I couldn’t remember which. I’m assuming that’s where you went, anyway?” She questions, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

 

At the sight, Cheryl simply releases a small grumble and shoves past the girl. She hates the fact that Betty knows her so well, especially when they’re arguinging.

 

Instead of acknowledging her, she rounds the corner up the stairs, and almost makes it to the top, when Betty’s voice stops her once again. The blonde rounds the corner as well, staring at her from the bottom of the stairs, taking a deep breath.

 

“Cheryl..” She sighs. “Can we talk? Please?” Betty practically pleads, and Cheryl simply sighs in defeat. On any other day, she’d snap at whomever she may be fighting with, before quickly leaving them in her dust. However, today, the redhead sags her shoulders, a small sigh escaping her usually crimson painted lips.

 

“About what, Betty?” She says, voice defeated, similar to their argument that had taken place yesterday.

 

A sharp intake of breath, “About everything!” Betty almost exclaims, brows furrowing together, before she seems to remember the cause of the situation and takes a step back, in order to give Cheryl some much needed space.

 

Cheryl clenches her teeth together, ignoring the tears that begin to spill down her cheeks with her next words. “There is _nothing_ to talk about, Betty. I already told you - she’s gone, we’re done, it’s over. So you can just act like nothing happened, go back to living your perfect life the way it was before this series of pitiful events spiraled out of control.”

 

Betty‘s eyes narrow into slits as she scoffs. “Cheryl, we can't just ignore this.” She protests, quieter than before. “You - you admitted to being attracted to girls, and having dated my best friend. You can’t just tell me that and not plan to elaborate any further.” She tries, almost desperate, tightening the blanket around her frame.

 

 _Good._ Cheryl thinks, clenching her fists. _Let her be desperate_ . “I don’t have to tell you _anything_. I already told you the main causing factor of all of the current problems in my life, and if you want to know more, how about you go ask her yourself?” Cheryl snaps, ignoring the slight crack in her voice as she talks. Betty’s jaw drops, as if she’s about to say more, however, before she can, Cheryl’s already up the stairs and making her way into her room with the slam of her door.

 

**__**

 

The soft knock on the door disrupts whatever sort of sleep Cheryl had managed to fall into in the past few hours, which, in reality, really hadn’t been much. She’s still dressed in the same clothes as earlier, tissues and blankets surrounding her, half fallen off the bed. For a moment, she’s not even sure what woke her, till another knock sounds again, and Alice’s voice filters through the bedroom.

 

“Cheryl? Can I come in?” She questions, voice surprisingly gentle and quiet. Immediately, Cheryl knows Betty must have said something to her, considering Alice is the type of mother to just barge into your room and start making demands or bother you about why your room isn’t completely tidied up like it should be. She wasn’t in the best shape after the death of her daughter and arrest of her husband, but along with Cheryl and Betty, all three of them had helped each other to grieve and move on.

 

“One second,” the redhead calls put, surprising herself with how raspy her voice sounds. Clearing her throat, she quickly gathers the tissues that had been surrounding her dresser and throws them into the trash can, attempting to fix her hair from its messy array before opening the door. The last thing she needs is to have Alice question her as to why she seems so upset, as the mother of her cousin had always hated it when Cheryl and Betty fought, if they ever did, and she’s still been wary about this entire situation that has been going on since last week.

 

Opening the door, Cheryl takes a step back, allowing Alice into her room. The older woman flashes her a warm smile, before shutting the door behind her, and following Cheryl as the redhead sits down on her bed.

 

“Hey,” She smiles. “I haven’t seen you in awhile. You okay?”

 

Cheryl nods, laying back down on her bed and staring up at the ceiling. “Peachy keen,” she lies easily, almost wincing at how natural it sounds. “I’ve been busy, I guess. With work and all, and the Vixens.” She answers, truthfully. She had actually taken up a few extra shifts at Pops where she had begun waitressing a few months ago, simply in order to avoid Betty. That, and running the cheerleading team had managed to keep her busy enough to not have to be home too often.

 

Alice rubs at Cheryl’s arm in a comforting manner, and Cheryl wonders when and why everyone had suddenly started doing that to her. “Did Toni leave already?” She asks, tilting her head as she scans Cheryl’s room. The redhead bites her lips at the mention of _her_ name. “I figured she would’ve stayed this week as well.”

 

She nods her head. “Yeah. They only have one week off for break for the university she’s attending down there.” Cheryl explains, covering her face with her arm and yawning, as if to play off that she’s simply tired. In her peripheral vision, she can see Alice watching her with concern, before releasing a small sigh.

 

“Was it okay?” She murmurs, voice suddenly quieter than it had previously been. “Between her and Betty, I mean. Didn’t they have an argument during the summer?” She inquires, and Cheryl inhales a sharp breath.

 

_Oh god, you have no idea._

 

“Yeah. We.. they didn’t exchange any form of communication, the entire time. Betty is quite frustrated with her.” She explains, rubbing at her forehead. Perhaps the tremendous amount of crying she’s done in the past twenty four hours is finally catching up to her, considering she can’t even seem to bring herself to tear up. “She waited for me after my shift last night, and.. we kind of.. argued, to put it lightly.”

 

Alice sighs, opening her mouth to speak, though quickly closes it. Probably to question Cheryl on whether or not she would like to talk about it - but, unlike Betty, Cheryl’s always hidden away her emotions and rarely opened up to anyone, so she’s angrily always declined Alice’s offers to talk.

 

(It was something that had changed when she had been around Toni, of course.)

 

Instead, Alice voices another opinion. “Well, I’m sure they’ll make up at some point. They've been best friends since - what, elementary school? They’ll be fine.” She says. “And, I’m sure you and Betty will be, too.”

 

Cheryl resists the urge to roll her eyes, and instead, agrees with her aunt. “Yeah. I’m sure they will, too.” She answers truthfully, because, in reality, the great thing about them both is that neither one necessarily hold grudges, unlike Cheryl. In the end, there’s a good chance they’ll talk it out.

 

For some odd reason, Cheryl feels a sense of jealousy for Betty begin to form inside of her. She wants nothing more than to talk it out with Toni, despite having always been the one to pull out and push people away from her. Now that their relationship is _on the line,_ she just wants to talk to her - even if it’s just for asking Toni what she had done wrong. It’ll be easier for Betty to make the first move to apologize, where as in her own situation, Toni had basically told her she didn’t want to see her anymore.

 

Alice smiles, completely unaware of what’s circulating through her head. “I’ll talk to Betty.” She promises, removing her hands from Cheryl’s arm. “Spaghetti sound good for dinner?”

 

 

Despite having only eaten breakfast at Veronica’s this morning, the redhead finds that she’s not hungry. However, not wanting to concern her aunt, she simply nods, watching as Alice flashes her one last reassuring smile, before getting up and shutting the door.

 

Eventually, she loses track of time as she slumps against her bed with the light trickle of rain still sounding against the glass of her window, which resides directly above her bed. It’s been a somber mix of grays and pewters all day, which makes Cheryl wonder if the small town weather really is just reliant on whatever sort of mood she has currently fallen in to.

 

Her eyes are drooping closed by the time Betty makes her way into her room, not even bothering to knock. She’s always been like that - always barged straight in, as if she owns the place,  never bothering to give anyone their own sense of privacy. Alice usually does that too, and Cheryl isn’t afraid to admit that she does the same. It’s annoying, to say the least, but really, Cheryl can’t say anything about it.

 

Cheryl simply pulls the covers from where they had been blocking her face, rolling over to face the taller girl. Betty stands in the doorway, door slightly closed behind her, glancing down at Cheryl rather nervously. The redhead simply scoffs, rolling back over and turning to face the wall.

 

“Cheryl..” Betty murmurs quietly, and Cheryl can hear the sound of footsteps approaching her frame ever so slightly, timid against the wood of the floor.

 

Cheryl scoffs, voice harsh. “What do you want?” She snaps, in an attempt to sound intimidating. Her facade, she’s realizing, is finally beginning to build its way back up, much to her dismay. In her junior year, when she had started her relationship with Toni, she had slowly dropped it, considering the brunette had always managed to see right past it. Yet, here she is, bringing it back in order to protect herself.

 

Betty sighs. “Cheryl.. I’m.. I’m sorry.” She apologizes, voice meek, to the point where Cheryl has to strain her ears to hear, despite the fact that she prefers to make it appear as if she isn’t even listening. “I didn’t - I didn’t know about you and her. I’m sorry about the argument.. if I had known..”

 

Cheryl lets a bitter, raspy laugh escape her jugular at Betty’s words, despite the fact that there’s no humor in the situation at all. “Yeah, that was kind of the point.” She scoffs.

 

Betty’s quiet for a few moments, and Cheryl wonders if she’s finally given up and left the room. However, her hopeful voice fills Cheryl’s ears once again, before she can turn to look. “I.. if you guys want to date, I’ll support you. It - it has nothing to do with me, and I can respect that.” She tries.

 

“Well, it’s a little too late for that, because we broke up, as I’ve been repeatedly telling you. It’s over, we’re.. no longer together.” Cheryl discards Betty’s pathetic attempt to make amends, practically choking on those last words, eyes squeezing closed as she continues to defiantly stare at the wall, as if she were a young kid being reprimanded by her mother. _God,_ she’s so fucking _sick_ of _crying -_

 

“What?” Betty immediately exclaims. “Why? What happened?” She questions, almost immediately turning into her typical version of Nancy Drew. Always curious, nosy, analytical, something that Cheryl both loves and hates her for.

 

Cheryl lets another humorless chuckle escape her throat. “We broke up, Betty Snooper. I’m not sure why - something about long distance, or whatever. She cheated on me, I think.” She says bitterly, almost surprising herself with her tone of voice.

 

A gasp of breath escapes Betty’s lips, and finally, curiosity gets the better of Cheryl, and the redhead finally turns her body in order to look at Betty. Betty, who’s currently clenching her fists and glancing around, obviously attempting to take everything in.

 

Cheryl rolls her eyes. “Don’t.. don’t act like you suddenly care, Betty.” She sighs, shaking her head and bringing her hands up to rub at her eyes. Betty suddenly crosses her arms, whipping around to face her cousin with a look of shock.

 

“Of course I care, Cheryl! You’re my.. _god,_ you’re my cousin, but you’re like my sister.. I care about you.” She says, voice quieting, trembling slightly, which urges a slight amount of guilt out of Cheryl. “We argued, okay? I wasn’t looking at all of the possibilities, I was just examining what I knew in front of me. I’m sorry I was being an idiot, but I had no idea about this, and now that I do know, of course I’m going to care. I never stopped caring.” She explains, voice brittle.

 

When Cheryl removes the arm that had been covering her eyes, a few stray tears escape her lids as she sits up, bottom lip trembling and face partially scrunched up. Betty watches her with sympathy, subconsciously at war with herself, unsure if she should come closer, or keep her distance.

 

“She.. I guess redamancy just.. didn’t exist for me and Toni.” Cheryl murmurs, glancing down at her fingers, ignoring the tears that fall down from her face. “I’m sorry, too, Betty. Maybe I should’ve explained sooner..”

 

Betty shakes her head, quickly moving forward. “No. No, Cheryl, it’s not your fault. I should have been more open minded - I shouldn’t have shut everyone out. It’s okay.” She says, enveloping Cheryl in a hug. Of course, a few seconds pass before Cheryl returns it, wrapping her arms around Betty’s mid section and pressing her tear stained cheek against her shoulders Betty coos in her ear, rubbing circles into her back.

 

A few minutes pass in complete silence, aside from the sound of the rain softly drumming against her window, and the distant clamor of thunder. Cheryl eventually pulls away, sniffling, rubbing underneath her eyes.

 

“Toni’s really apologetic, too.” She murmurs, swallowing down the lump in her throat at the mention of her ex-lover. “About.. your fight. She told me that during Thanksgiving break. She wanted to make up, but she didn’t think you would.” Cheryl explains, as Betty sits on the edge of her bed, a brow raised.

 

The blonde shakes her head. “Cheryl, you just told me you think she _cheated_ on you. I’m not - I don’t want to try and make amends with her when you’re like this-“

 

Cheryl shakes her head instead, cutting her off. “Don’t.. don’t bring me into play.” She pleads. Sure, she’s upset, regretful, and hurt, but Cheryl doesn’t want to be the ultimate reason for Betty and Toni never bothering to make amends with each other. “You two have been best friends since what.. third grade? Only to have a fight like this destroy it? I don’t want to be the reason you two let this separate you forever. Toni’s.. she’s.. she’s a good friend, just.. not a good girlfriend.” She says, chest nearly constricting at the mention of the world _girlfriend._

 

Betty seems to contemplate it for a few moments, before she releases a small sigh, nostrils flaring. “Maybe you’re right, Cher.” She murmurs, scratching at the back of her neck as she seems to lose herself in thought, absentmindedly circling the room. “But.. maybe we just need some time apart, too. I don’t think it’d be a good idea for me to talk to her soon, especially with you two..” She shakes her head as Cheryl attempts to speak. “It doesn’t matter whether or not she’s my best friend - cheating on someone is _never_ okay, and.. maybe we can talk later, but maybe it’s just best to let the school year go by without worrying about it.”

 

Cheryl inaudibly scoffs. She doesn’t think she’ll be over Toni by the time the school year ends, and the thought makes her want to rip her locks of red out, considering Toni was clearly over her in less than a _week._

 

“She’s.. she’s a good person, Betty.” Cheryl insists anyway. However, the girl comes back to sit on the edge of her bed, brows furrowed as her wide sea green eyes begin to study her, face full of concern, before her hand comes to rest on Cheryl’s arm, as if steadying the redhead.

 

“Cheryl..” She begins, voice quiescent. “You’re aloud to be mad, you know that, right?” She asks, waiting for confirmation. “You’re aloud to be upset with Toni, upset with anyone involved.” She clarifies.

 

Cheryl sighs, breaking her brown gaze from Betty’s green. She takes a deep breath, chest expanding, before she moves to cup her forehead in her hands.

 

“I.. I know.” She murmurs. “And.. I am. I’m completely dolorous when I truly think about it.. I mean, it’s only been a few days.” She explains, deciding that she doesn’t want to go all the way in to detail like she had done with Veronica this morning. “But then I become almost livid as well.. but it’s always short lived. It’s like - I can’t be upset with her, you know?” Cheryl says, shaking her head. “She could do anything to me and I just.. I can’t. I don’t know how to explain it. I really.. I really thought she was the one, and I know it’s _idiotic,_ because I’m still a fucking senior in high school, but.. god, it’s all just all one big mess..” She trails off, unsure on how to continue. Truth be told, she doesn’t even know how to explain what she’s feeling - with Toni, the brunette had always been able to read her like an open book, and she had never even really had to explain.

 

Betty takes her lip in between her teeth, before she releases a sigh.

 

“You still love her.” She says in conclusion, voice full of sympathy.

 

Cheryl glances up from her fingers, hesitantly meeting Betty’s eyes.

 

“Yeah.” She agrees, and in this moment, she realizes she’s never said anything more truthful. “I do.”

 

**__**

 

The rest of the week passes by in a flash, and in all honesty, Cheryl barely even remembers any of it. The days after Toni had officially broken up with her, she practically spent the entire time lounging around in her own sorrows, tissues blown everywhere, alone in her own abyss of darkness. Betty was still home, considering she still had the rest of the week off, but Cheryl preferred to be alone, which thankfully, the blonde had respected.

 

Josie and Veronica manage to drag her out on a Friday night, a few hours after they get home from school. By then, she thinks her eyes are permanently destined to stay large and puffy from all of the crying she’s been doing, and the purple bags under her eyelids are barely able to be covered by any sort of concealer. She’s completely _miserable,_ and she thinks the last time it had gotten bad had been Jason’s death.

 

Even though she’s hesitant, Cheryl assures Veronica that she can tell Josie of her liking for girls. She doesn’t want to be honest with one and lie to the other, but she makes it _very_ clear that she does _not_ want anyone else to know.

 

After what was probably an hour of attempting to coax Cheryl out of the bed she had been laying in for the past three days, and urging her to take a much needed shower, they currently reside in some sort of fancy pizza place Veronica had taken her to, even though it was near the outskirts of Riverdale and closer to Greendale. Riverdale basically had no good places to eat, aside from Pops diner, which would undoubtedly be full on a Friday night like this. Besides - she knows that if she walked in tonight without Toni by her side, Pop would no doubt ask how they were doing, considering the guy had practically watched their entire relationship bloom right inside of his diner..

 

“Cheryl? You alright, girl?” Josie questions, a well plucked eyebrow raised as she peers over their menu. Cheryl takes a deep breath, fingers tightening against the charcoal colored menu, eyes scanning over the words that belong inside, however, not necessarily processing them as she decides she’ll just split a pizza with Veronica.

 

“Yeah.” She murmurs shakily. “I’m.. okay.”

 

Veronica flashes Josie a knowing look, and before she knows it, the curly haired girl is scooting her chair closer, pulling Cheryl’s menu down so that they can look at each other. She curls her hand over Cheryl’s, their skin contrasting well against each other.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She offers quietly, over the loud chatter of the people in the restaurant. Cheryl swallows her saliva, moving to play with her fingers like she usually does when she gets nervous, before shaking her head.

 

“Not really.” She sighs. “I just.. I just want to forget about it, you know?” She questions, glancing back and forth from the both of them, meeting their eyes. “I just want this all to be over with.” She explains off, diverting her gaze and staring at her feet.

 

Josie squeezes her hand, and Veronica and her share another, hesitant look, before this time, it’s Veronica speaking. “Maybe we can go out to a bar? To take your mind off things, that is. It’s a Friday night that’s bound to be busy, and I still have my fake ID from Reggie..” Veronica murmurs, smirking slyly. They’re all eighteen, and with each passing year, it’s been getting easier to convince the bouncer into thinking they’re not underage.  

 

Cheryl smiles slightly, almost forced. “Okay.” She agrees, just as the waiter comes back to take their order.

 

**__**

 

They’ve only been here for about an hour, but Cheryl already feels as if she’s floating on thin air.

 

By the time she drowns her third flute, she considers the fact that truly, she’s never been drunk before. The time during her summer before her junior year, she had only had a few drinks, enough to be somewhat tipsy. There had been one time last year where she had gone drinking with Toni at a party, but the brunette hadn’t allowed her to have more than she could handle, making sure to stop her the moment she had begun to slur her words.

 

Cheryl isn’t sure why almost every train of thought seems to lead back to her ex-lover, but with the slight alcohol running through her veins and the feeling of bodies practically grinding up against her own, she can’t seem to focus on one thought for too long. Eventually, her mind grows hazy enough for her to slowly become unable to comprehend what exactly she’s doing, and before she knows it, she’s on the ground, the red button up jacket she has worn near soaked.

 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” A female voice exclaims, as Cheryl’s vision swims in and out of focus for a few moments, confusion taking over practically every part of her. The woman holds a hand out for Cheryl to take, and the redhead allows herself to be pulled up by a tall, dark haired older woman, who’s completely clothed in leather and looking fairly apologetic. Glancing down at her jacket, Cheryl realizes that there’s a large stain near her abdomen, and the woman is holding a clear glass cup that was probably filled with some sort of alcohol.

 

“It’s okay.” Cheryl slurs slightly, peering over the heads around her as she comes to realize she has no idea where Veronica or Josie are. Giving her jacket one more glance, she sighs and makes her way toward the direction of the bathroom.

 

“Hear, let me help you.” The woman murmurs, following the redhead. Cheryl, in the cloudiness of her mind, can’t bring herself to argue, or assure the dark haired woman that it’s alright, so instead, she begins to follow her to the bathroom.

 

It takes a few minutes to find the location of the bathroom, and Cheryl finds herself surprised by the woman’s persistence to help her. She’s older than her, by the looks of it - perhaps somewhere in her fifties. The amount of leather she’s wearing reminds her of Toni of course, and the redhead sighs, shaking her head and breathing in through her nose in an attempt to think of something else.

 

As she attempts to rid her shirt of the stench of alcohol, her phone buzzes, causing her to reach in the back of her pocket to pull it out. She reads Veronica’s name at the top before she glances back up at the stranger, who’s dabbing her top dry with a paper towel.

 

“Thank you, but it’s okay, I’ll be fine-“

 

Her words are cut off as the stranger suddenly grabs her shoulders, slamming her to the tiled bathroom wall with enough force to send Cheryl flying, had there not been anything to stop her. Her phone falls to the floor as her head comes in contact with the wall, momentarily causing Cheryl’s vision to blur in and out once again - though, this time, not due to the alcohol coursing through her.

 

The once friendly manner that had seemed to grace the stranger’s face is quickly replaced with that of something resembling ferocity and brutality. Cheryl barely even has time to register what’s happening before the grip on her shoulders tighten, and words begin spilling from the dark haired woman’s mouth.

 

“Listen, I'm just gonna skip right to the point here.” She snarls, almost appearing like a rabid dog, and Cheryl’s eyes are wide with terror as she’s slammed back into the wall after an attempt to push away. “And you’re going to answer with complete honesty. Got it?”

 

Cheryl, too caught up in the fear, confusion, and foggy thoughts in her mind, only manages to nod a fraction.

 

The stranger eyes her for a few moments, before continuing. “When did she come from?”

 

Cheryl’s brows immediately furrow in confusion, her breaths beginning to increase as she grips onto the stranger’s arms in an attempt to get her to loosen her grip. When she takes a few moments to reply, the woman bares her teeth.

 

“W- what?” Cheryl stutters, wincing as the woman’s nails begin to dig into her bicep. “Who?” She questions, genuinely confused.

 

The woman narrows her eyes. “Don’t play this game with me, Red.” She hisses. “ _When_ did she come from?” She repeats, clearly growing impatient.

 

Cheryl shakes her head, barely managing to get the words out in a messy form of stuttering. It’s so strange - she’s never been this terrified before, always having been able to maintain a good amount of self confidence in order to be self assured of her decisions.

 

“I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She protests. “D-do y-you mean ‘where’?”

 

The woman releases a sigh, allowing her head to hang limp for a moment, seemingly considering her options, before she glances back up at Cheryl with an almost tired expression. “I know who you are, Blossom.” She says, eyes narrowing once more. “I know everything about you, and your little girlfriend, Antoinette, Toni, whatever the fuck she wants to be called. Just answer the damn question - if you two are close, then she’s definitely told you. When did she come from?”

 

The question is repeated for the third time, and Cheryl’s jaw drops as the woman starts spilling information to her. “My.. I don’t even have a girlfriend.” She stutters truthfully, shaking her head. “I don’t know who in the world Antoinette is, I don’t even know what you’re talking about, so can you please just let me go you absolute lunatic - !” She exclaims, fear undoubtedly evident in her voice.

 

The brunette releases yet another sigh, glancing off to the side and shaking her head. They make eye contact for a few moments, and the brunette finally tightens her grip for a split moment, forcing a whimper of pain out of the redhead, before she releases her.

 

Cheryl inhales a sharp breath of air as the stranger quickly rushes out of the bathroom, leaving the redhead in her dust. Bringing her hands to rest protectively around her pale arms that’ll most likely be bruised tomorrow morning, Cheryl attempts to calm herself down before she ends up snapping and having yet another full out breakdown in the middle of the bathroom, still frightened by the entire ordeal. A few tears run down her cheeks - however, before she has time to do anything else, her phone buzzes again from its spot on the floor.

 

Choking on a small hiccup, Cheryl quickly wipes at her cheeks and picks up her phone, answering what’s probably not the first from Josie.

 

 _“Cheryl?”_ The girl nearly exclaims, voice wavering. _“Girl, where are you? We’ve been searching all over for you for like half an hour, I was starting to get really worried-“_

 

“J-josie,” She stutters, frantically glancing around the bathroom, as if she expects the stranger to randomly lunge out at her and tackle her to the floor. “This - this girl, she just-“ she near chokes on a sob- “I don’t.. I don’t k-know. I’m really scared.”

 

Josie’s voice instantly grows quieter. _“Cheryl? This girl what?”_ She asks. _“Where are you? Are you okay?”_

 

Cheryl releases a sigh, eyeing the door with unease. “I’m in the bathroom.” She whispers.

 

_“Okay. Do you need me to come get you?”_

 

Shutting her eyes and taking another deep breath, Cheryl shakes her head, eyeing her shaken up reflection in the mirror. “N-no. I’m okay. Can you and Veronica just wait for me at the front? Can - can you stay on the phone with me?” She requests, cheeks flushing a slight hint of pink from embarrassment at the sound of how desperate she must seem.

 

 _“Yeah, of course. We’re here now.”_ Josie assures her. Cheryl nods, as if Josie can somehow see her, nearly stumbling out of the bathroom in a slight drunken haste to get out of this bar as quickly as she can. The world nearly seems to spin around her as she rapidly pushes through anyone in her way, for fear that if she doesn’t hurry quickly enough, someone else will try to take her away.

 

 _“Cheryl?”_ She hears Josie call, voice filled with concern. However, Cheryl, leaning toward being drunk and filled with paranoia, can’t bring herself to respond as she continuously shoves past anyone in her way. Perhaps she’s overreacting to this entire ordeal - however, she’s tipsy, unable to form completely coherent thoughts anyway, so she doesn't bother to think about it as she reaches the front of the bar, where she immediately feels hands grip onto her arms. She nearly lets a shriek escape her throat, till she suddenly comes face to face with Veronica, the shorter raven haired girl scanning her face with wide eyes and concern.

 

“Cheryl? What’s wrong?” The latina questions, holding the near trembling redhead steady. Cheryl finally releases a breath she hadn’t even known she was holding as she recognizes a familiar face, allowing Veronica’s touch to comfort her ever so slightly.

 

“This.. this person..” She murmurs, scanning  around herself once more, before turning back to face the pair. Josie’s watching her with something filled with sympathy, and Veronica’s staring at her in concern, and suddenly it feels a lot hotter, as if the room is closing up and she can’t breathe-

 

“N-nevermind.. c-can we j-just get out of here?” She requests quietly. Josie flashes Veronica a quick glance, before nodding and resting her hand upon her shoulders as a form of comfort. Cheryl barely notices the gesture, anxiously scanning her surroundings every few seconds until they make it to the car.

 

She feels her shoulders begin to relax when she sits down in the passenger seat of Josie’s rumbling Honda, the tension beginning to fade almost entirely as she leans her head against the window, completely lost in her own hazy thoughts. The radio is quiet in the car, no words spoken between the girls for a few minutes, and Cheryl simply uses it to try and calm down until Veronica breaks it a few miles down the road.

 

“What happened, Cheryl?” She asks, seemingly curious, but concerned all the same. “All three of us were having fun - and then one moment Josie turned around and you weren’t there, so we started looking for you.”

 

A small sigh escapes Cheryl’s lips as she glances at Josie in the driver’s seat, who’s occasionally flashing her a glance concern, and Veronica, who’s watching her with her brows furrowed. Releasing a sudden huff, Cheryl sits back in her seat with her arms crossed, glancing back out the window.

 

“I don’t even know, really.” She murmurs quietly, watching as the downtown Christmas lights pass by, spreading the word of the holidays. A small smile comes to her lips, before it’s quickly distinguished. “One moment I was dancing, trying to enjoy myself, then the next I was on the floor with alcohol spilt all over my shirt.” A red clad shoulder shrugs, seemingly annoyed with the entire situation as she glances down at what’s probably a permanently stained shirt - when, in reality, she’s truly terrified. “The woman who got it all over me offered to take me to the restroom to help me clean up - then, suddenly, she’s shoving me against this horrific, cesspool reeking wall to the bathroom, asking me a bunch of questions that make no sense. When I finally convinced her I have no idea what the fuck she’s talking about, she just.. leaves.”

 

 

“What was she asking?” The singer questions, eyes still settled on the road with an unsettled look on them. It’s not every day that something like that happens in the town of Riverdale - for her entire life, the small town has been a fairly safe place to live in.

 

Cheryl sighs as a slight pound begins to form in her head - from the overwhelming amount of drinks or from being slammed into a dirty wall, she isn’t sure. “Just idiotic questions that weren’t illogical in any way.” She murmurs, moving to press her head in the palm of her hand. “It’s fine - it’s not a big deal.” She easily lies, teeth clacking against each other.

 

Silence looms in the car once again as Cheryl rests her forehead upon her hand, eyes closed and body slumped against the door of the car. Now that the adrenaline is finally beginning to fade, the alcohol begins to sit, and the headache settles in, she’s completely and utterly exhausted.

 

By the time she gets home, it’s already sometime around two in the morning, Betty’s watching some movie in the living room, and Alice is absent from the area, leading the redhead to believe she’s asleep. Both Josie and Veronica offered their stay, but Cheryl had declined and simply muttered something about wanting to be alone with her thoughts, before slurringly thanking the pair and promising she’d text them to assure them she was alive tomorrow morning. She completely reeks of alcohol, considering that filthy _pig_ had spilt her entire drink all over Cheryl before slamming her into a wall, and Alice doesn’t need to know she’s been drinking. She’s incredibly underage, being eighteen, and she knows the woman would probably have heart palpitations upon finding out of Cheryl’s wearabouts.

 

Despite the fact that she can barely stand and her body is just about sore all over, Cheryl quickly discards her clothes and quickly turns on the water in the shower, barely even waiting a few moments before getting in and allowing the slow warming water to run down her aching body. Her hair begins to darken in color as it sticks upon her nude back, water droplets streaming down her forehead and sticking to her eyelashes. She’s still slightly drunk and confused, but she _knows_ that that entire situation couldn’t have been a coincidence. Even with the muddled thoughts in her mind, she’s able to process the majority of what had just happened.

 

It couldn’t have been an accident, right? That woman - whoever she was - knew Cheryl’s full name. She also knew who Toni was.. then again, she mentioned something about her name being “Antoinette”. Cheryl’s never heard of that before - when the redhead had even asked the brunette if Toni was just a nickname for something, Toni had only shaken her head with a shrug and muttered something about her birth parents liking the name before she was given up for adoption.

 

Though, what freaks Cheryl out the most is that the woman knows they’re dating. Or - knows that they _were_ dating.. She knows for a fact Toni never told anyone, and in the past week, Cheryl’s only told Betty, and Josie and Veronica a few days ago. She trusts all three of those girls with her life, there’s no way they told anyone else..

 

As for the statement, “ _When did she come from_?”, Cheryl isn’t quite sure how to address that. It’s a completely bizarre saying - how could someone come from a time, rather than a place? She had only ever heard it once before..

 

_“Where are we going?” Cheryl questioned, nude colored lip resting in between her teeth as she chewed on it rather nervously, eyes shut closed and hand squeezing that of the other girl. Toni grinned for what seemed like the hundredth time, giving her hand yet another squeeze as she carefully drove Cheryl’s impala further into the woods near Sweetwater River._

_“It’s called a surprise for a reason, Cher Bear. Remember, no peeking.” She reminded her firmly, giving the redhead yet another glance before setting the car in park, and pressing a soft kiss to Cheryl’s pouted lips. “You’re so impatient.” She teased, watching as the pout seemingly stubbornly rested upon Cheryl’s lips, defiant, resulting in Toni letting out a small chuckle and moving to cup Cheryl’s cheek, thumb stroking her jaw. “My impatient girl.”_

_With those words, the pout finally faded from Cheryl’s lips as she smiled, eyes remaining closed but still able to find and wrap her arms around Toni’s neck, pulling her in for yet another desperate kiss. Toni let out a soft moan, before pulling away and stroking Cheryl’s porcelain cheek once again, staring at her, taking her in for all of her beauty. One look at Cheryl, and she always swore she had never seen anything more beautiful._

_“Come on, you can open your eyes soon.” Toni finally murmured, not even bothering to open the car door as she stepped over it, rushing to the other side to open Cheryl’s and offer a hand to guide her out. Quickly laying a few blankets out over the slanted rock that happened to overlook one part of the river, Toni guided Cheryl to stand over it, hand resting upon the small of her back._

_“Okay. Open them.”_

_As soon as Cheryl opened her eyes, they settled upon that of the clear night sky, stars twinkling, bright and effervescente. Her dark brown optics reflected the soft glowing light from the stars, and she couldn’t help but feel as if she was lost in space. She didn’t think she had ever seen the stars as clear as she possibly could right now, in the warmth of the early spring night._

_“Do you like it?” Toni asked, sitting down upon the blankets and tugging on Cheryl’s hand to join her. The redhead had yet to say a word, simply taking in everything that had surrounded them with a look of awe. She had always prided herself in her large vocabulary, but now, she couldn’t seem to find any words to describe her feelings._

_“Oh my god, Toni.” Cheryl gasped, finally turning to face the pinkette with wide eyes, jaw dropped. “This has to be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Of course I love it - god, it’s so.. I can’t even describe it..” She murmured, turning around to wrap her arms around Toni’s neck and pulling her into a hug, burying her face in a chanel scented neck._

_“Happy sixth month anniversary, baby. I know it isn’t much, but-“_

_Cheryl cut her off right then and there, pulling away from her neck and cupping it, before pressing her lips desperately against Toni’s, a smile forming at the grunt of surprise Toni made before falling backwards onto the cushioned slab of rock, hands gripping onto Cheryl’s waist in order to steady her._

_“God, Toni, you never.. shut.. up.” She teased in between heated, longing kisses. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”_

_When they finally stopped their slowly growing, heated makeout session (because that’s as far as they’ve gone so far), Cheryl pulled away to stare into Toni’s eyes, studying the reflection of the stars that rested upon them. Toni may as well have hung them there for Cheryl herself - god, she cares for this girl so much.._

_She loves her.._

_“When are you from?” Toni murmured almost dreamily, still looking up at the redhead as Cheryl supported herself above her, continuing to study her perfectly shaped features. However, upon hearing the rather odd question, Cheryl knitted her brows._

_“When? When am I from?” She repeated with a chuckle, as if to correct the clear mistake Toni must’ve asked upon wording her question. Toni was still looking at her the same way Cheryl had been a few moments ago, as if she meant **everything** , before her muscles suddenly tensed, quickly realizing what must’ve slipped._

_“Where.. I meant where.” She grinned, pulling Cheryl down to her side and wrapping an arm around her waist as she glanced back up at the night sky, letting a small, happy sigh escape her chest as Cheryl instinctively curled into her side. “Because.. seriously, where have you been all my life?”_

_Cheryl let out a small breath of content out as well, allowing herself to be enveloped in Toni’s embrace._

_“Right here.”_

 

That night, last March, still remains clear as day to Cheryl’s hazy mind, however drunk. She realized she was in love with Toni Topaz that night, despite the fact that she hadn’t voiced it till a few weeks later. She hadn't paid much attention to that sentence, considering far more important things had been going on during that time - but, god, she remembers feeling so blissful, so happy in that moment of time.. she swears Toni felt that way too - Toni _told_ her, _promised_ her she did..

 

It makes Cheryl rather uneasy that a random woman had managed to track her down and ask her such a _bizarre_ question that had also happened to be muttered by Toni herself nearly a year ago..

 

God, it doesn’t make any sense. Toni had seemed so happy with her, maybe even too happy. Saturday night after Thanksgiving, they had fallen asleep after making love to each other well into the morning, and woken up Sunday with grumbles of never wanting to separate, wanting to stay in this moment forever. Now that she thinks about it, Cheryl had asked Toni when she wanted to see her again, and rather than responding with definitely sometime before the month is over or giving a specific date like she usually did, she had replied with _“I don’t know. Soon”._

 

Suddenly, the twitter pictures showed up and Toni was kissing another guy, however drunk, and seemingly happy with someone else for god knows how long. _God_ , just the mere thought of someone else with their hands wrapping around Toni’s body, snuggling into her, able to make her smile just as bright as that warm starry night in the spring simply from _looking_ at her-

 

Before a sob can escape her body, she shivers, beginning to notice how cold the water has become due to how long she’s been standing underneath the faucet. With a sniffle, Cheryl quickly washes her body off of any sweat and grime, not even bothering to wash her hair before turning off the water and drying herself off. Her hair still drips of water as she throws on an old shirt and some underwear, before climbing into the bed she’s been staying in a lot recently and curling underneath the covers. She replies positively to a message from Josie asking if she is alright, before taking in a deep breath.

 

She doesn’t cry herself to sleep tonight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry this took a while to come out, but i have the next two chapters written out!


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